Lesson 5

 The Goal:

You will begin to think and learn about how to read and use quality sources, as well as practice revising, which is perhaps the most important part of writing. You have the chance to revise your first essay to make up any points lost. Read my comments carefully and remember that “Revision’ is not just editing grammatical errors, but Re-Visioning how you organized your essay and explained your points. You may need to completely change how you explained your ideas, taking some out and adding new ideas instead that will help make prove your thesis. You may need to change your thesis to make it stronger. You may need to change the tone or word choices in the essay. Think carefully and revise with care to make up lost points, should your essay have needed that.

What to Read:

Reading Games: Strategies for Reading Scholarly Sources‘ by Karen Rosenberg in  Writing Spaces Vol. 2

*The Omnivore’s Dilemma  by Michael Pollan: Chapters 8-9 (61 pages)

Section C5 in a  Writer’s Reference,  pp.  43-51

Paper #1:

Taking into consideration both my feedback, your peer review, and the rubric, please revise your first paper. Note that fixing the grammar will bring up your grade ever-so-slightly, but that the harder work of revising ideas and structure are the most important.


In the supermarket, we have tons and tons of choices. Choice is part of being a consumer–we equate it with freedom. However, when there are tons and tons of packaged foods, more and more processed choices, is more choice better?

How does the industrial organic food chain compare to the plain old industrial one?

 Submission Checklist:

  • Contribution to the Discussion (30 points)
  • Paper #1 Revision (Variable points)